The Trumputin Conspiracy


Miss Universe 2013
We sent our investigators to Russia for confirmation. We left no stone unturned to uncover the real story.
Now, the truth can be told.
Around 4:30 a.m. on November 14, 2013, in the presidential suite of the Moscow Ritz- Carlton, the future president of the United States and the president of Russia shook hands on a secret agreement aimed at guaranteeing world domination for both. Through the plan’s implementation, Vladimir Putin  would become the most powerful political figure in the world, and Donald J. Trump, the dictator of the world’s economy.
The bromance between the two that has long been rumored, yes, we can here report with confidence, it is true, and more. The current relationship between Trump and Putin is more like a marriage in which the Russian president functions as the dominant partner. In Trump’s phraseology, the marriage is very, very strong.
In exchange for his “suite” handshake, the president-to-be, who was short on cash at the time, was awarded $20 million. Although that payment was announced as Trump’s fee for having brought the Miss Universe pageant to Russia, it was, in fact, Russia’s first payment to him for his having signed on to the Trumputin plan.
The highly successful pageant of the previous evening, on November 13, 2013, we have learned, was a cover for the real purpose of the Donald trump’s visit to Moscow, which was to seal what had been generally agreed upon by Putin and his officials working over several months with Trump’s children and other representatives of the hotel magnate.
According to the final agreement of November 14, 2013, its first steps would be initiated immediately upon Trump’s return to the United States. First, Russia would apply every one of its available methods, legal and illegal, to guarantee Trump’s 2016 election; and secondly, as soon as possible, Trump would make strong statements about how wonderful it would be if the United States and Russia were partners instead of enemies, and how that would lead to permanent peace in the world.
We have other fascinating details to share concerning the Trump-Putin partnership, many of which are already known publicly due to post-November 2013 developments in the United States and around the world.
Suffice it to say here in closing: what we already know about the Trump-Putin alliance is, in and of itself, extremely frightening.
But for citizens of the United States, what is ever more frightening about our story is that it may not be just sheer fantasy but, in reality, the awful truth.