The Sticky Paper Case

A great mystery has now gone unsolved for four full days. I'm referring, of course, to the video-shot that caught the president climbing aboard Air Force One with a piece of toilet paper attached to his left shoe.

Who ? And Why?

We know where and when. The camera showed that the sticky paper stayed with the president as he climbed up the steps into the plane, then it dropped itself onto the flooring at the plane's passenger entrance. That was the scene last Thursday, October 4th.

Who dunnit?

Could have been anybody. A Russian agent. A slighted maid or manservant. Or it could have been the guy who really assaulted Christian Blasey Ford in the summer of 1982. A mad democrat would, of course, be the logical answer.

But nothing is logical these days. Surely, Trump didn't do it to himself. And we're absolutely certain no member of the Cabinet would have stooped so low. And Senator Graham has a fool-proof alibi we understand; for it was reported by a source, thought unreliable by some , that at the time of the president's boarding the Senator was having a beer with Brett Kavanaugh.

Why is an even greater mystery. If someone stuck the paper on the president's shoe to embarrass him, they could have been far more creative, like giving him a book to read.

We'll probably never know who and why.

I'd suggest appointing a special investigator to solve the case. But I'm so weary from the Mueller probe, I simply couldn't stand to have another one going.

So, I"m going to let this toilet paper mystery go unresolved. If it happens again this month, though, then I will really get serious and actually vote in November, maybe twice.

Voting solves everything.